I think the last one has been the toughest. Note: Be careful what you offer to God, He will take you up on it! I told God He could have all of me, because I was so sure I was doing what I had been called to do. So God says, "OK, give me your passion." So here I am, saying, "Here you go God." But I'm not letting go. I am forcing Him to pry my fingers off of my passion one by one. I am kicking and screaming about it, but I am giving it too Him (what real choice do I have?). I have to trust that by giving this to God, he has something better for me in return. I have found that I have had to give up all of my own ideas and plans that I thought I had for the last 20 years. If I were younger, I might respond differently. But at 44, God has pointed me in a new direction, a new career. A career I never aspired to, or even thought I wanted. But, here I am. And I am learning and growing and changing. It is scary and sad. I had so much invested in the last 20 years. Yet, it is exciting at the same time. I am learning so much.
But everyday is a sacrifice for me. It is one I make willingly at times and one I struggle with at other times. So I am giving God all of my hopes, dreams and passions that I have had for the Church and I am taking up the new role he has given me. I am trying to leave my old paradigm for my life and embrace my new one.
I sing daily, "I surrender all to you, Lord, all to you."
