Sacrifice and Surrender. It's not just giving.

Sacrifice is not intended to be easy, thus the word sacrifice. Abraham was asked to offer his son on the alter. The Israelites were told to give their first-fruits, their best. Sacrifice isn't about giving money, it is about us. Everything. Our desires, dreams, passions.

I think the last one has been the toughest. Note: Be careful what you offer to God, He will take you up on it! I told God He could have all of me, because I was so sure I was doing what I had been called to do. So God says, "OK, give me your passion." So here I am, saying, "Here you go God." But I'm not letting go. I am forcing Him to pry my fingers off of my passion one by one. I am kicking and screaming about it, but I am giving it too Him (what real choice do I have?). I have to trust that by giving this to God, he has something better for me in return. I have found that I have had to give up all of my own ideas and plans that I thought I had for the last 20 years. If I were younger, I might respond differently. But at 44, God has pointed me in a new direction, a new career. A career I never aspired to, or even thought I wanted. But, here I am. And I am learning and growing and changing. It is scary and sad. I had so much invested in the last 20 years. Yet, it is exciting at the same time. I am learning so much.

But everyday is a sacrifice for me. It is one I make willingly at times and one I struggle with at other times. So I am giving God all of my hopes, dreams and passions that I have had for the Church and I am taking up the new role he has given me. I am trying to leave my old paradigm for my life and embrace my new one.

I sing daily, "I surrender all to you, Lord, all to you."